by Stef Nunez
I wish that when I thought of you I only saw your awesome mustache,
Or the way we thought you were so cool
We called you Roberto Cop as kids (because, you know, RoboCop)
I wish I only saw your amazing grace
And the way your congregation still sees you
Because you are sorely missed
But still spoken of so often
I wish I had memories of spending time with you
I wish I had memories of you and grandma together
I wish I had more than pictures
And I wish I could see you the way mommy does
As a powerful force, a Taino warrior
Who protects us even in death
Instead, when I think of you
First it’s your big, bushy eyebrows
Which have become a beauty standard in my mind
Then I see my dad and his ego
Who stopped us from seeing you before you were gone
And we had no idea when we came to visit
The first thing we wanted to do was see
Grandma and Grandpa
To be the only grandkids who weren’t at the funeral
Is something I still haven’t recovered from
And maybe I never will
But I can take solace and comfort
With seeing you in every yellow butterfly
Stef Nunez is the editor in chief of Sage Cigarettes Magazine.
